Entry #6: Enough ECT

Yesterday, I had my 6th ECT. Although they asked me to have more ECTs, but I refused. Back to Lithium.

Everyone around me did mentioned that there are improvements in me after those series of ECTs. However, after ECTs, I’m having problem in balancing myself. Walking, standing etc. My psychiatrist said it is not because of ECT, but it happen to me after I had my ECTs. 

Not only that, my memory are messed up. I’m always known as a guy with a good memory. Even in studies, I don’t have to do revisions before I attend an examination. But now, I’m having problem remembering what the heck happen before I had each ECT. That is just messed up.
However, I will not eliminate the chances of me getting ECT again. If I’m back to suicidal, sure, I will do ECT again. Although I hate the consequences of ECT, but I do admit that it does works. Everyone including my own psychiatrist said I look better that before. That’s the gold, right?

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