Entry #1: The Introduction 


First of all, welcome. I’m not sure why are you here, but I really appreciate it.

This is my second blog. My first blog can be found here.

Let me introduce myself. I’m 32 years old loser, with bipolar disorder type 1. Currently, I’m pursuing my PhD in Engineering, specialized in convective heat transfer. It’s a new physics for me, but I love it.

Why do I need another blog? My previous blog was written few years ago. I haven’t updating it for years. Since we just enter 2017, why don’t I start with a new blog. Starting fresh. Well, kinda. As my blog before, this blog will also focus on my journey as a normal human being, but with bipolar disorder as a side.

Back when I was 14, I had a major meltdown which turn my life to a new darker phase. I was suffering from major depression disorder (undiagnosed). After I completed my first degree, I started working as a lecturer at a private college. At first, I managed to keep it under control. However, few months later, people started notice something off with me. My mood swing was really drastic and it affected my lecturing and admin works.

With that, I finally decide to get help. At first, I refused to acknowledged that it’s psychological problem. I have other weird symptoms such as polyuria, nocturia and polydipsia. So, I was conviced that this is neurological/endocrinological problem. After few tests, 2 MRI and a CT scan, it was concluded that it’s psychological problem. That was a huge blow for me.

I didn’t accept it. I refused to acknowledged it. But after few more months, it was getting worst! So I took a huge step and went to psychiatric clinic. The psychiatrist diagnosed me with Dysthymia. I wasn’t satisfied with the diagnosis. He gave me lamotrigine, it nothing happen. Then I went to see another psychiatrist, this time she diagnosed me with major depression disorder. 

At that point, I was a bit relieved. That was exactly I’ve been through for 8 years. Depression. She prescribed me Prozac. After two weeks, depression starting to go away. However, it intensified mania. I didn’t know mania at that time. I was extremely energetic and erratic. I got over excited on everything, and easily get angry if things doesn’t go my way. I spend all of my saving, and max out my credit cards on something that I have no interest on such as PS3.
I told my psychiatrist about it, and she pointed out that it’s a manic episode. I had no idea what it was. Then she prescribed me Seroquel together with Prozac and Lamotrigine. And she said I have bipolar disorder type 1. No idea what that was.

So my journey with bipolar began.



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